thebronzemedal:

At first I was all “free twizzlers!”, but then I saw that they were off-brand twizzlers. What gives, Chicago?

See, I’m one of those people that find Twizzlers taste like Pepto Bismol if Bepto Bismol had the texture of plastic.  For others, Red Vines have this unfortunate distinction.  I have never met anyone who likes both.  Related: those marginalized few who enjoy black licorice seem to unanimously prefer Red Vines, which would indicate Red Vines are at least the variety more closely related to “real licorice” (and, well, this).  I’m bored enough at work that I’m concocting a narrative for this ages old struggle.